Believe in Love again
by Scream to the Stars
Summary: Syaoran has to get Sakura to believe in love again after her horrible life she leads.
1. Found by the lake

**Hey people...yeah...  
One night...I was in bed staring up at the stars...and thinking...where the FUCK is my ceiling?!  
Okay people have fun reading my crappy shit i call a story!!!! =]**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this...I think...*looks at paper that has everything I own on it* Nope! aww...  
Yes, I am a girl . no comments on the point of view please**

The first time I saw that girl…and she was crying her eyes out. Oh, my name is Syaoran Li, and that girl I was just talking about…her name's Sakura Kinomoto. She's the new kid around here and her brown hair and green eyes always smiling tells you on first impression that she is total prep material. Not really. Behind her smile she's really just broken and confused…without a friend. Her friend died a few days ago, we all heard about it. Tomoyo or something like that. I was just walking through the park, carrying a sword, intent on finding a quiet place to practice, and out of the blue I found her. At a beautiful lake that reflected the starry and luminous night on its sleek black surface. I heard her sniffles first, and then, becoming curious, I peeked around an old oak and saw her sitting on a bench, holding her face in her hands. I saw tendrils of pretty brown hair sneaking around her fingers and the tear tracks that glistened on her hands. This was the first time I'd ever seen her up close and she looked like a sad moon maiden, she was silvery white because of the light of the moon shining upon her. I crept closer to her, making not a noise.

"Why are you crying?" She stiffened and slowly turned to look at me. "Angels shouldn't cry," I said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She stared at me, I was sure she didn't know what to say. I'm not egotistic or anything, she just looked that way. Her usually smiling face was damp with tears, and that's the only thing that could tell you she had been (and still was) crying. Her eyes weren't red and puffy, and she wasn't sniffling…well not anymore. I could see deep despair in her eyes, and I gathered that she usually hid it well.

"A-ano…it's not anything, please do not worry about me." Her face lit up and I frowned while she forced a smile to come to her face. It didn't reach her eyes, and I knew something was wrong for anyone to act like this, especially prep girl Sakura Kinomoto. She was popular, and I was guessing that was the only reason anyone was really her friend, or lusting after her. I mean, she is pretty, but everyone wants to be at the top. Well, not me. I'm the kind of guy that doesn't care about social status and no one really wants to be my friend because I'm the loner type. I haven't had a girlfriend for a while because of my status.

"You're crying though, what happened?" I tried to get something out of this girl. She was a curiosity. She was so quiet, yet so pretty, so popular, yet so nice. I couldn't help but worry about what happened to make her like this. "Come on, I promise I won't tell anyone if you tell me." I put my hand on her arm lightly, she jerked back, as if she had been burned. She looked at me with frightened eyes and shook her head.

"I can't tell you, and if I did, you just wouldn't understand what I'm telling you." She turned away from me and started to get up, but I grabbed her hand. She tried to jerk free of my hold but I kept my grip on her; she couldn't get away this time. I heard a soft sound of displeasure come from her and she glared daggers at me. I wasn't fazed though, people did that daily to the outcast of the school. I saw a mark right above her elbow, something that looked like finger marks.

"Were you beaten?" Her eyes widened and she looked down at her arm, which she tried to cover up so I wouldn't see it. The problem was that I already saw it. She couldn't undo what I did. If you catch the drift I'm trying to make. See? I can be as much of a dork as a loner. She pulled harder against my hand and I resisted letting her go. She pulled and fought a little before giving up. "I can see that your strength is down. I've seen you flip one the players in our school onto the ground. Now what the hell happened to you?

"I told you! Nothing happened to me! I tripped over a suitcase that my dad was packing for his business trip and I fell down the stairs! Don't try and get involved with me! I don't need help!" I let the girl go at her last words and looked away. She rubbed her wrist and cautiously leaned forward grabbed her hoodie, something that didn't look like it would have a place in her closet. It was all black with a bleeding white rose on the back of it. Come to think of it, she was all in black, different from her normal attire. She was wearing a skin-tight black shirt that said Evenescence is graffiti style type and black trip pants on. She had some boots with buckles up the side and black gloves on. Smudged eyeliner accented her pretty green eyes. My mind was blown; she looked hot in what she was wearing. She pulled on the sweatshirt and turned back to me. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," she said quietly, turning and walking away.

My mind was blown away again. Why did she just say sorry to me? That confuses me. She didn't have to apologize to me; I should have apologized to her for being nosy in all of her business. I guess I'll never understand the world of girls. Aw hell, I just spent all of my practice time on her and I've got a huge test tomorrow. I ran home.

Dear diary,

_Don't you think it's stupid that a grown sixteen year old girl has a diary? Well, I think it's kind of stupid and I own this little fucking book. I met this kid today, brown amber kind of eyes and messy brown hair. He was dressed in black and kind of…gorgeous. He asked me what was wrong and I all but short of flipped him off. He seemed kind of surprised to see Sakura Kinomoto in all black. I don't even know his name…I guess I'll find out tomorrow…I feel real bad about yelling at him like that…I have to put up the act tomorrow. And I have to deal with a big test tomorrow...Wish me luck inanimate object!_

~Saku.

* * *

**First Chapter!!! Yay! It's multi chapteriol  
lol is that even a word?**

**yeah...well...see the review button?  
The magical fanfiction fairy commands you to touch it =]**

* * *


	2. Kicked outta the club

**

* * *

**

Okay, sorry I kind of make fun of Eriol in this chapter. And preppy girls. I have no problem with you if you're a prep...I just needed conflict between two social classes in a school.  
sooooo...I'm in a legally binding contract that says that I have to disclaim.

**Disclaimer: I don't own...sadly...*looks at the paper* Aww....*People chase me with sporks* fine fine! I'll stop feeling pity for myself!!! ahhhhhhhhhh**

**

* * *

  
**

"Syaoran!" I glanced around to see my best friend, Eriol, running towards me. I held up my hand in a little semi-wave while he caught up. "Dude, if I may say so you look utterly handsome today." Did I mention Eriol was gay? He didn't have a boyfriend as of late, but I don't think I could deal with a lot of gay smoochy-smoochy crap like before. Oh, I've got nothing against gays…I just wish they'd keep the kissing and perverse flirting to themselves.

"Err…thanks Eriol. I didn't think a dark green shirt and black pants would particularly match?" my voice was full of sarcasm but Eriol didn't seem to notice. He launched into this explanation of how black will match with anything. I eventually just blocked out his gay rant on fashion. Usually I was listening to an hour long rant of how he really needed to lend me some fashion magazines because I had absolutely no taste in good clothes, like he did. Wow…gay alert. Wait, we already knew that.

"Oh look the popular shits. They think they're the bomb. Fuckers." See, I already knew that and Eriol just went and stated the obvious. Mr. fucking obvious right over here. I should have worn my 'I'm with stupid' shirt today. "You're thinking about wearing the 'I'm with stupid shirt' thing again…aren't you." Wow, it was creepy how this kid could guess my thoughts. I nodded anyway. "Thanks Syaoran thanks a lot."

"Not my fault you like to point out obvious things, you gay ass." I looked to my right, out into the street and saw…you guessed it, the most popular girl in school, Sakura Kinomoto. I watched her walk to her car, and as she passed us I took note in what she was wearing. A black skirt decorated with chains, knee high boots with buckles; I'm guessing the same from last night. Fish net gloves, a 'Michael Jackson' hat as you might put it, there were a couple of rings on it and a silver skull and crossbones. Her shirt said 'Bleeding Heart, Black Hope' on it and she had on a plain black sweatshirt over it.

"It looks like the pretty flower of the school is turning into a black rose," Eriol commented, watching her also. She got into a normal little piece of junk car and drove down the street and turned, going in the direction of school. Me and Eriol got into my blood red Mercedes and followed soon after. "Looks like we're going to have a new friend soon Syaoran, she won't be with the pop's for long if she keeps dressing up like that.

"Something tells me that she doesn't really want a friend." Eriol knew my tone of voice as I didn't really want to talk anymore about it and he shut up. The drive to school was, thankfully, relatively silent and when we got up to the campus, Sakura was being yelled at by her 'friends.' The popular people who saw Sakura for how pretty she was…that was it. They didn't understand the change in her, neither did I. she wasn't smiling today and she was wearing what could be considered as poison to the preps: black.

"Sakura, get out of those clothes right now! You absolutely can not go around looking like some loser threw up on you! I mean it looks like you and Li Syaoran went shopping together, you look like shit!" This girl with silver-blonde hair was yelling at her, holding out a bag of clothes, which I guarantee has pink in it somewhere.

"I'd rather be who I am than keep pretending about who I'm not. For your information, bitch, I hate the color pink, my favorite music is death metal, and I absolutely hate those whiny football players you frilly sluts call boyfriends! Don't fuck with me anymore. I don't know how this school works but something tells me I'd rather hang out with that loser, Li Syaoran than you." She stalked away and pretty much slammed into me. She reeled back, but I managed to catch her before she landed on her butt and humiliated herself.

"Aw look, you already have a loser lover, Li." The bitch stalked off while I was still centering Sakura so she could regain her balance. She managed to get

her footing and straighten her clothes, pushing gently away from me. When she looked up and saw me, her face turned bright red and she scrambled backwards, getting away from me like I was the god damned plague.

"Don't worry about the popular chicks, they'll make your life hell for a few weeks and if you don't fight back they'll leave you alone. Eventually, anyway." I gave the girl a kind of smile, which turned into a smirk. She didn't smile back or even acknowledge the fact that I had smiled at her.

"I don't need a friend," with a blush still on her cheeks, she raced into the school and probably to homeroom. I had been right though, she didn't want a friend. Eriol called his goodbye as he raced away to find his girlfriend (yea I lied about my best friend being gay what's it to ya?) I picked up my guitar and my backpack and trailed up the path to school. I had to dump my shit in my locker then cram for that damn math test.

To the inanimate object called diary—

_So…Me…Sakura…finally got kicked out of the popular club. YES! Okay, well I don't have any friends. That's good though because I don't want anyone to get hurt if they find out my secret. The bruises are only starting to go away. That guy from last night, I know his name now, Li Syaoran. He is a loser, but now so am I. I have to say that he's a gorgeous loser. Ugh I can't be his friend no matter what! If I'm his friend I know that he'll get hurt. I can't trust him, I can't trust anyone. I just have to get through life. And if the necessity arises I will take my own life. No would miss me anyway, now would they?_

~Saku

P.S. _I should get a life, ne?_

* * *

**Lol, second Chaptorial done!!!**

**That magic button that says review? press it :D**

* * *


	3. Break down

**

* * *

**

Mmk chapter 3...umm...it's sad =( but it explains a lot...soooo...NO COMPLAINING!!! =] lol  
Remember that legally binding contract?

Disclaimer: nope...I don't own it...but the sky does =D hey sky wanna hand over copyrights to me =]  
sky: no.  
me: damn. v.v

* * *

I was looking at my math notes. As if anyone could actually study for math. I saw that Sakura wasn't, and she was in my study hall. Honestly where was the ex prep? I looked around and couldn't see her anywhere. I signaled to my teacher that I was leaving the room. Hell, I had enough struggling through math today, may as well see if I can find her. I figured she wouldn't be anywhere near the cafeteria, that's where all of her ex friends hang out. She won't be at the football field or the gym…that only leaves the art room or the music room. I went towards the right; towards the music room…it was closer than the Art room anyway.

"When you're gone…" I heard soft singing with a gentle piano accompaniment. I walked towards the music and guess where I found the black rose? In the music room, playing a song, singing to the notes she played. I knew the song; it was by an artist…Avril Lavigne I think. I never actually heard anyone play her songs. Especially when her voice was bold and unafraid, and Sakura's voice was gentle, afraid of being heard. I snuck in and watched her play, I heard her sing. It was amazing and beautiful, even with the contrast in singing styles. I walked up behind her and placed my hands on her shoulders, willing for her to go on. She didn't even seem to notice.

She just kept playing the music, didn't say a thing about my touching her, and from what I could gather, she didn't like people touching her. Especially me because then she'd go and blush and I would be sitting here and asking myself why she had run off again. I heard her end the song, I heard her long sigh, what the sigh was for, I don't know.

"That was great," I said quietly, I didn't want to break the moment. Hey, even straight and immature guys have those moments when we're caught up in the magic. We aren't complete idiots. I think. She stiffened and tilted her head up, meeting my eyes. I stared back down at her. I don't know how long we had been there, just staring into each other's eyes, when I saw a teary film covering her eyes and spilling over. She closed her eyes and turned around, standing up. I didn't have to try to catch her this time; she buried herself in my arms of her own accord. I let my arms surround her, dragging her in closer, so close. I felt my shirt start to get wet, but I didn't pull away, I don't know why I was even holding her.

"Thank you," she said weakly, pressing her face against my shoulder. I didn't know what to do, how to handle this little situation of a totally hot girl crying her heart out on me. So I did the only thing that I could really think of. I rubbed her back and whispered that it would be alright into her ear. She tensed up and pulled back almost violently, hitting my chest with her fist. She wasn't really trying again. She was just angry, but she was afraid of harming me.

"IT'S NOT ALRIGHT, IT WILL NEVER BE ALRIGHT AGAIN!" she pretty much screamed at me, tears still streaking down her cheeks. After a while she fell to her knees and wept, face in her hands again. "First Danny, now Tomoyo…" I heard her whisper. I understood then, I understood why she was crying and having a breakdown on me, a person she seemed to utterly despise. She blamed herself for her friend's death. Apparently, she blamed herself for another one of her friend's deaths too.

"Hey, hey it's not your fault," I knelt in front of her and put my hands on her shoulders. She looked up at me and I offered a small smile to her. "No one could have stopped it. Maybe it was her fate you know? Maybe she's watching over you now, making sure that you don't get hurt.

"I could have stopped her death," Sakura whispered, pushing my hands away. She had seemed to remind herself of something and promptly pushed me out for whatever that reminder was. "I suggest you stay away from me. Unless you want to end up like Danny and Tomoyo, resting forever, never to open your eyes again, just stay away. I promised I would never be the cause of someone else's death. Now it's become a vow." She left then, leaving me alone and quite confounded.

Inanimate object…I'm back again—

_Yeah…it's me…back again. I wonder why I run to a book when things turn out to be bad. Mm…I was just reminded of Danny…my sort of ex boyfriend. I only say sort of because he was killed. Well…it wasn't really proved…but I knew he was because he knew too much. He knew that my father beats me and my brother uses me for his own perverse…ideas…and he tried to put a stop to it. Now my family didn't like that…so they took care of him. They had some gangers mug him and beat him. So yeah…it was technically murder. But my father was behind it. Aw…I miss him a lot. He'd always let me cry on him…he took care of me when I was battered…he was always there for me. He said that once we finished high school he'd take me away. Somewhere where no one could find us and my family couldn't bother me any more. Somewhere where he could make up for the hurt that they put me through, replace it with new memories of me and him…just somewhere. I was pregnant when we moved here. My father didn't know. It was Danny's I knew it was. I could have had my love's child. My father did find out though. He killed it; he killed my baby by beating me. When it still continued to grow, he made me get an abortion. I didn't have a choice._

_And then Tomoyo…she helped me up from that great fall I had when I was forced into abortion. My father got angry that another person knew. He cut those brakes on my friend's car, he made it crash. I was so stupid to drag either one into this. And that's why I will not drag Li Syaoran into this; I will not get him killed. He confuses me, how he won't give up, and I like that in a guy. I will not go to him though; I won't drag him into this mess of my life. I don't care if I hurt him, I can't put him through hell for me, and I will not allow it. And that's the reason why I keep running away from Syaoran. I run away to keep him safe. That's that._

_Yet…I wonder…_

_Will I ever believe in Love again?_

~Saku…

* * *

**See? Sad!!! wow i'm having typing problems today O.o**  
**Okay...if you haven't figured it out by now... there's a magical button...it says review...  
The flying Taco dares you to press it wiv your mouse :D**

Don't you just love subliminal messaging?


	4. Letting the weird stalker in

**Okay...I tried updating at like...1 in the morning...didn't work too well...and yes...I changed my penName. woo!  
Yeah...I had to make Touya a bad guy =( I'm sorry...it just worked out that way.  
And Sakura's finally letting her weird stalker in! Yay! go weird stalker!**

**Disclaimer due to legally binding contract: Yeah...the sky don't want to give it to me....**

* * *

I watched Sakura across the room as she wrote in a little black book. What was that all about? I had seen her writing in it when I walked into homeroom. Eh. I'll find out eventually…if I can ever manage to be her friend. She seems so closed up and doesn't want anyone to butt in. I got up and sat next to her. We were both done with our crappy math tests anyway so why not?

"What are you writing?" I pretended to look over her shoulder, trying to read the text that she was scribbling in. She looked up at me and I saw her eyes momentarily soften, and then harden into ice in less than second. She turned back to her writing and I pulled out a thin black leather bound book. I saw her curiosity spike and I handed it to her. After a moment of consideration, Sakura pushed her notebook towards me. She turned a red color and flipped through my music book. I read through her…diary. Her 'dear diary' wasn't like that; it was something different each time. 'To the thing I bought.' 'Whatever am I doing with you? Piece of shit.' 'To the inanimate thing.' It was actually kind of funny.

I flipped through the book, reading. When I came across my name…MINE of all people's. So I read it. My eyes widened as I read it and I looked up and over at her. She stood and grabbed my hand, pulling me out the door just as the bell rang. She dragged me to the quad and pushed me down below a tree. She sat next to me, closer than I was actually expecting. She was touching my side and I could feel when she moved or fidgeted.

"Do you understand now? I can't let you near me; I can't let you in because you'll get killed. I don't want that to happen to you or to anyone else." I watched as different emotions played across her face. Anxiety, curiosity, confusion all passed through. I tugged lightly on her arm and pulled her into a hug, careful not to try and crush her.

"I don't understand why you won't let anyone help you. Trust me; your father can't even touch me because I'm trained in martial arts and sword fighting. I've been in a horrible car crash before, everyone around me we was killed and I was the only one left standing. Everyone has a calling in life, and I believe mine is to help you out of this mess." I dragged my hand down her back, showing her that I did really care. "I will make it alright for you, and somehow someway…I'll get you to believe in love again." I felt her tears and I felt her need to be held as she pressed close to me. I enveloped her in another hug, letting her cry.

"Thank you, but I can't let you go through hell for me. I can brave it alone, trust me." Wow, there was a whole lot of blind faith going on around here! I felt her tug, trying to get away, but I pulled her closer.

"I've already been through hell my friend. I'm in no mood to go back, but I need to get you out of there and bring light to your darkness. I can let you meet more people; make more friends than just me. Like Eriol, who acts gay half the time but really has a girlfriend and isn't gay at all. Rika, the girl that made him turn away from his gayness. I saw you hurt the other day, you cried on me earlier, can you explain to me why you keep pushing me out?"

"Because you remind me of Danny!" I read this. About her abortion with a baby that was made out of pure love and innocence. "But then I remember that he's dead and that no one can replace him and his love for me! I let you in, but then I remember and I push you back out!" She was crying hysterically now, balling my shirt up in her little fist. I gently pried away her fingers and held her shaking hand.

"No one could replace that guy. You have to move on though. You have to get help. Now, I'm willing to help you, but you have to be willing to let me help you…which you really aren't helping me help you right now. You letting me see that inanimate object you call a diary and letting me read it, there's a step forward into the future and not a step backwards into the unforgiving past."

"Thank you Syaoran-kun," she said very softly, hardly loud enough for me to hear. "You know too much though, just by seeing that bruise that my father inflicted and knowing it was him. You can't be my friend."

"I am your friend now," I told her firmly. "And I want to see the damage your brother did to you. Right now." I know…kind of commanding, but I really needed to know. She nodded slightly and lifted her shirt from over her belly and shifted the skirt down only a little so I could see a beginning line of what looked like fingernail marks.

"When my brother…rapes me…he ties up my wrists," she showed me rope burns all over her wrists, "My knees, and my ankles. He'll whip me and call me a whore, he'll let other men play with me and fuck me, calling me his 'toy,' or his 'pet.' Then he will savagely fuck me and cause little inflictions on my body until I eventually pass out."

"How often does this happen?" my voice laced with curiosity, I longed to lace it with anger, annoyance. That guy has no right to do that to such a sweet girl. I watched her fix her clothes and then she looked at me with horribly sad eyes. I cringed inwardly, still waiting for her answer.

"Touya likes to…satisfy…himself before he goes to bed every night." Okay, that was the last fucking straw. I mean, her dad I could handle, he didn't violate her. Now her brother was worse than her father, he violated and harmed her. I decided, right then and there that she was going to live at my house, and she could get away from this 'Touya' and her neglecting father. I couldn't get her out of my head now, not until she was safe.

"You're coming to stay the night at my house." I said it as a statement, no question, no demand, but no way out of it. "I don't care what you say, you shouldn't be treated that way, and a sixteen year old male can only do so much. You're coming to live with me and that's final," I told her.

She hadn't opened her mouth during that little spiel, but she finally did. "Thank you, for my ticket to an escape."

Diary thing—

_I'm getting away from them! Syaoran just told me that I'm going to live with him! I know this thing between me and my family isn't over, but I found an escape in Syaoran-kun's arms, and I'm taking it because I'm tired of suffering! Oh yeah…did I mention said boy is my new friend? Well…he is…_

_Will I ever believe in love again?_

~Saku

* * *

**Does anyone know what Spiel means? XD I hope you do. I think i do. wait...yes, i do :D**

**Yeah...there's a magic button. It says review. now press it! It'll take you someplace beautiful...where you can type about what you think my story is like. soo press it! :P you'd make me and my Flying Taco happyyy**


	5. escaping with the wierd stalker

**

* * *

**

Doesn't everyone just love my hyperly fast updates? It's cuz my friends were lazy and didn't feel like dragging me anywher this weekend. WOO~!  
Legally binding contract...*rips it up* MUA AH HA HA!!! *still has to disclaim* damn. v.v

**Disclaimer: yeah yeah...don't own it.**

* * *

After school now…I noticed how the sky had changed throughout the day. In the morning it was clear and crisp, kind of warm for a spring day. Now it's cool and heavy dark clouds loomed over me and Sakura as I walked with her to her car. She kept fiddling with something on her hand, apparently something I hadn't noticed before, and looking up at the sky worriedly.

"What's wrong? What are you playing with?" I asked her straight out. She lifted up her hand and showed me a ring with a brilliant dark blue sapphire set in it. She kept her head down against a breeze that blew against us; she kept fiddling with that ring. I latched onto her wrist and stopped her, pulling her around to look at me. "What's wrong?" I asked again while the first drops fell from the sky above.

"I don't like thunderstorms," she whispered to me, "my mother died in one." I let her go; she was telling me bits and pieces now, accepting me as her friend. It didn't take long, but apparently reminding her of someone she loves helps a lot. I walked with her the rest of the way to her car, and was mildly surprised when I found out that she parked only a few spaces away from mine. I jogged to my car and followed her as she drove out of the school parking lot.

She had me follow her to her house, the entire other side of the city. Did I mention I live in a mansion with Eriol? Well…I do…anyway; I parked behind her car as she got out and trudged up to meet me while I got out of my own car. "Hurry up, my dad and brother are going to be home really soon." She grabbed my hand and tugged me up the steps into her house. She didn't bother taking off her shoes, just pulled me up the stairs to what I assumed was her room. "I always have a duffel bag packed. In case I'm too battered to really get anything. Although, after Tomoyo died, I don't even know why I keep one…I guess it's coming in handy right about now." She grabbed the duffel bag from under her bed and pointed towards the bathroom, connected off of her room. "In there is a red bag full of my toiletries. I'll meet you at your car." I nodded and walked into the bathroom, grabbing the red bag.

I walked out of her house and saw her fighting with some girl. I recognized that girl as one of the popular cheerleaders from school. I stood away a little and watched her as she fought with her. Finally, Sakura flipped her off and slid into the passenger seat of my car. The girl flipped her hands up and walked away. I hurried to my car and got in the Driver's seat.

"What was that all about?"

"She wanted me to turn back to the bright side of rainbows, pink, and horrible boy bands," she told me without an instant of hesitation. "She told me to ditch you, and I answered her that you were about the first real friend I've had since I moved here." I grinned at her before starting the car. She looked up at the rear view mirror and looked at me with wide, frightful eyes. "Go, that's my dad's car!" I sped away from the curb and down the street just as her father parked his car and started to get out. I knew he stared after us, wondering what the hell was going on, but Sakura was home free…for now, at least.

"Sorry it took so long to get out of there. I should have just drove down the street the second that I had the car turned on," I apologized to her as we waited at a light. She had leaned her head on her hand, her elbow resting on the arm rest between us. I noticed that she was (probably subconsciously) playing with the sapphire ring in her hand. I guessed it was her mother's because she was really attached to the thing.

"No, it's my fault because I was having that stupid fight with that prim and proper shit. I'm just glad we got out of there before my father figured out that it was me. By the way, do you have a way to destroy a cell phone?" I looked at her weirdly, that was a queer thing to say…she gave a nervous giggle and held up her cellular device. "It has a tracker in it."

"Oh, well the light still red. Get out real quick and put it under the wheel so I can run over it. That should do it in, I'd much less rather use a bomb to destroy it," I grinned at her. She didn't get the joke though and was in and out of the car in less than ten seconds. I congratulated her on her expert speed.

"I've been the fastest runner in track ever since I could remember," she told me, apologetically looking up at me. "I can't let up, even if I thought I had won, I have to keep running hard and fast until the end, even if my lungs burn and I can hardly keep my legs moving, I can't stop. I've had that drilled into my head so many times I haven't forgotten it." I looked up at the green light and drove, running over her cell phone. She looked back and sighed when she saw the little pile of broken metal.

"Well, you don't have to live by that anymore," I told her, giving her a quick glance as I drove. She smiled when I looked at her; I noticed it didn't reach her deep green soul wrenching eyes that still held so much despair and pain. "You'll be safe now," I told her. I longed to take her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze, but we were only halfway to where Eriol and I. I refrained myself from doing so. We were in silence the rest of the way to my house.

Sakura looked unsure as I helped her out of the car. I grabbed her duffel bag and almost fell. Fuck this thing was super heavy! I grabbed the red toiletry bag and took her hand, pulling her to the huge place. She took a deep breath and let me tug her into my house. "You can stay in the guest room closest to mine, that way you can come find me if you have any problems." She nodded and followed me up the stairs. "You have your own bathroom and I'll show you around the place once you get your stuff away."

"Alright," she said quietly. I walked her to the end of a corridor and pointed her to the door right next to mine. I gave her the duffel bag and her red bag so that she could get unpacked in peace and quiet.

"I'll be in the room right there," I told her, pointing it out. She gave me a reassuring smile (that once again did not reach her eyes) and backed into the door, opening it as she did so. She disappeared into her new room and I walked to my own room and walked inside. I flipped a book that I was reading open and continued the long confusing sentences that were contained in a law book. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer one day, so every holiday they would send me a law book. I decided (last night…) to start reading some of it. Maybe I could help Sakura.

Dear…cat thing? Since there's a reddish orange cat on the cover?—

_Syaoran-kun brought me to his house. It's huge and a bit daunting. I'm going to get lost in my own room! There's a huge dresser and an even bigger walk in closet, what seems to be a master bathroom, and a freaking balcony! Talk about fancy. I didn't even know that he had this much money. I guess his family is somewhat famous back where he came from. Whatever, he's still my friend, no matter how much money he has. I'm grateful to him for my escape, I found it in him. Better than Danny, ne? I hope he's not going to betray me. I don't think I can stand any more pain anymore._

_He promised me that he would somehow get me to believe in love again. Is it weird that not even a day of knowing him I'm starting to like him a lot? I hope not. That wouldn't be fun. He likes me enough to be my friend; I'm sort of…elated about that._

~Saku.

* * *

**I really hope you know all the words I tend to use =P**


	6. the story goes on

* * *

**Aww Syaoran's so sweet in this chapter =]  
Lol...major stuff going on next chapter.**

Disclaimer:: no'z i don't own tha damn thing  
Popular demand told me to able the anonymous reviewing...so i did...okay one person told me to shut upppp 

* * *

I heard a soft knocking at my door and I got up, assuming that it was Sakura right on the spot. I opened my door and met the deep green eyes of Sakura, who had her fist raised, ready for another knock. I smiled at her and she blushed back, embarrassed at being caught I guess. I offered her my hand and she hesitatingly took it, afraid about what I was going to do. "Come on, you need a tour of the mansion." She nodded and squeezed my hand into a death grip, intent on not losing me.

"Why is this place so big?" she asked with a little awe in her voice. I laughed and kept leading her down the hallway, away from our rooms. She was a little nervous in moving away from there, I could tell, but I gave her a reassuring smile. She smiled back at me and held tighter to my hand, which I didn't mind at all.

"My parents wanted me to be comfortable here in a place that I don't know very well, so they bought this mansion. Eriol could live here as well as when my parents and other relatives come to visit they can have their own rooms wherever they want. It works out because not all of my relatives like each other. So…I put you in the room closest to mine, where my fiancé usually sleeps."

"F-fiancé?" she sounded kind of let down and I felt my heart wrench. Did she like me? Kind of…enough to feel sort of like she had no chance when I mentioned Meilin? It sounded like it. I didn't want to hurt her feelings though, and what I'm about to say is true…I am trying to get the whole marriage thing with the temperamental Chinese girl nullified.

"I'm trying to get that nullified. I don't want to go through with it. I kind of want to marry my own girl I have my eyes set upon. If I ever find her…" I didn't want her to think she had no chance. She had a hell of a chance to be with me. I really did like her, even after only one day…I visibly saw her perk up a little bit and follow me with more of a spring in her step than before.

"There's the dining room through that door." I led her through the dining room to show her the humongous kitchen. "Here's the kitchen which leads to the Living room," I lead her into the huge living room, a television with a couch facing it, a piano, a guitar system, a playstation 2 and 3, a huge radio set up. It was pretty much the field of play in here. "Through that door," I pointed to it, "is the bathroom. Well, there's the grand tour. Like it?"

She smiled at me and nodded, walking to the couch, she plopped herself down on it. I grabbed the remote and sat down next to her. I turned on the television and flipped through the channels. Settling on a horror movie, I heard something. It sounded like china breaking, fine metal wind chimes clanging. I looked over at Sakura and saw that she was…laughing… "I find horror movies hilarious because of all the crap they make up to scare people," I smiled at what she thought of horror movies and agreed with her.

"You're right, it is quite funny." I gently tugged on her hand, and she shifted over, closer to me. I wrapped one of my arms around her waist and made her rest her head on my shoulder. She relaxed against my body, her breathing calming. I lightly kissed the top of her head and I felt her stiffen, kind of jump really, and I looked down at her. She was looking up at me with anxiety in her eyes.

"What was that for?" she asked me, I guess you could say confusedly. I stroked her hair and she eventually calmed down, but looked to me again. "Why are you being so sweet to me?" I hadn't answered her last question, so I figured it might be nice for me to answer this one.

"You need some gentle loving care," I stated. "You need to know what exactly caring is. You've been without it way too long, I mean, your brother and your father don't help at all. All they do is yell and beat you and violate you. That's a pretty low thing for anyone to do to someone else, even if they really did deserve with you, and you really don't.

"That's why I miss Danny…he would placate that. He would make it all better and I wouldn't feel worthless or pessimistic around him. He was the light in my life; now that he's gone I'm horribly depressed. If you didn't get me away from there, I would have taken my life eventually." I looked at her with a concerned eye; I tugged her closer and continued to watch the movie. I felt her relax again, her breathing slowing to impossible gentleness. I looked over at her and realized she had drifted off to sleep. I smiled; she looked like she needed it, why didn't she ever get sleep?

I realized (again) that it was probably because she was always getting hurt and things before and would pass out, not really sleep. She wouldn't sleep because of her fear of being woken up with a huge beating. I dragged a blanket over her sleeping form and turned, so she was lying on my chest. Why did she feel so safe around me, safe enough to fall asleep? I knew that I was quickly gaining her trust; it seemed that it was easy because I just had to annoy her to no end until she decided to tell me things.

I changed the channel from the horror movie so that the screams and other shit from it wouldn't wake her up. I turned it to Disney Channel and watched Hannah Montana…a crappy show…a REALLY crappy show. So I turned it to TNT and watched Charmed…witches…and white liters…and demons…fun. I held the girl to my side and matched my breaths to hers, soon becoming drowsy with her deep, even breathing. I slowly fell asleep with about the nicest girl I'd ever met asleep on ME.

My Diaryyy—

_I've got nothing to say. I'm starting to fall for him. No, I can't be! He's already my friend, I can't drag him deeper._

_Will I ever believe in love again?_

~Saku…

* * *

**MAGICAL FREAKING BUTTON!!! FUCKING PRESS IT PEOPLE!!!**


	7. this is like a filler chapter, ne?

* * *

**Some little things...  
1. I've updated 7 times in 3 days  
2. Don't pester me for more! I have a lot of exams!!!  
3. I'm an insomniac. There will be updates in the middle of the night as well. That means a lot of new reading material for the people who like this stuff.  
4. Some of this is based on real life events. Revisiting it isn't so easy, so just calm down. I work as fast as I can. Kay?  
5. The one I hate the most....::DISCLAIMER:: if you haven't figured it out by now, no i do not own the anime. I say no such thing about the ideas. Wow De Ja Vu. I've said that before XD**

* * *

I felt something stir on top of me and I turned a little to the side to try and get it off of me. I heard a small noise of disapproval and I blinked open my eyes and blearily looked up at the thing. This happened to be a body. A living body. On top of me. Then I remembered that Sakura had fallen asleep on top of me. I tightened my arms around her waist, dragging her against my chest and keeping her there. "Let me go—" there was a huge crack of thunder and a flash of lightning. Sakura buried herself back into my arms and my chest, whimpering.

"I'm not going to let you go," I told her gently. "The storm is all the way out there, we're in here." There was another boom of thunder, Sakura pressed closer to me, despite what I had told her. "Hey, calm down, I'm not going anywhere. Yet again, despite what I said, she pressed herself against me and buried her face in my neck. Her head was between my neck and my chin, it was kind of uncomfortable, but she was perfectly comfortable, so I didn't really care.

I raised my arm and gently stroked her back, calming her against me. She relaxed against my body eventually and I kissed her head. She closed her eyes, and another boom of lightning resounded throughout the room, rattling the window panes behind the couch. She stiffened and squeezed her eyes tighter; she balled my shirt up in her fist.

"Why are you so light?" I questioned her, juggling her a little bit to prove my point. She moved without a problem, she was probably the lightest girl I had ever known. God, she had a beautiful figure to match her pretty face, but she looked so fragile, like she was about to break.

"What do you mean?" I picked her up and held her about two feet above me, arms length. She made a small noise of fright and grabbed my hands, begging me to put me down. "Please? I don't really like being held up like this, it's scaring me," I immediately put her down and she pressed against my side. "Don't do that again," she said gently.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm sorry, I won't do that again," I promised. "And I do not break my promises. Also, I meant that you are the lightest thing that I've ever held. A living and breathing and thing anyway." I repositioned her in a more comfortable place on my body and lightly stroked her hair.

"We have something in common. We both think I'm way too light, and we don't break promises." I smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I'm not sure why I am so light. I was never really hungry I guess. I mean, I was never really hungry anyway and with the constant beatings and all I was never really able to keep it down, or get up more or less. It was really bad, I was always underweight. Accept when I was pregnant, that was the only time that I was ever actually the average weight. That's why my family didn't notice until I was four to five months pregnant, when I started getting overweight."

I ran my fingers lightly down her back and she stiffened a little and looked up at me with a little anxiety in her eyes. "Yeah, that does feel kind of weird, doesn't it? And I know that you were hurt and broken. You're heart is broken. I want to fix that." She looked up at me and rose to look me in the eye.

She leaned forward a little bit, but then she hesitated, probably kind of confused as to what to do. She leaned forward again and hesitated again. "I…really…like…you, but…I'm not…really sure…what to—" I had leaned up the rest of the way and planted my lips onto hers. She stiffened a little; I could tell that she really hadn't ever kissed anyone else before. Even Danny, which kind of confused me…she soon became relaxed though and snaked her arms around my neck and kissed me back.

"I never kissed anyone. Danny was always fixing me up and taking care of me. We never really had time for anything else. Especially when we were always at my house instead of his…I was never really up for getting around. And no, I'm not talking about sex at all."

"Aw, but that's the best part of a relationship—sex," I joked. Sakura looked down at me and fell across me. I didn't make any sound, she was so light, and it hardly bothered me. She pressed against my side and tucked her head against my neck again. I dragged my fingers lightly down her back again and she shivered. Sakura made another noise of displeasure and grabbed my hand, holding my wrist down at my chest.

"You really need to get up and eat something though Sakura," I started to get up off of my comfortable place on the couch but she pushed me back down. I looked at her kind of confused as she took up her place again and mimicked her actions, holding my wrist down. I smiled, but I was also very strict about this. "You need to eat something Sakura.

"No, I don't want to eat right now…I want to sleep. I will eat something one I wake up," she murmured, already tired. My heart melted when I saw her eyes start to close and a pretty contented smile cross her face. I knew it was a real smile, and I decided that she didn't have to eat, she could sleep for now. This girl could get anything get anything from me I knew, with just a smile. With a beautiful laugh she could get the world from me.

"Alright, you promised. Just…don't go anywhere in here without me. My mother and my cousin are around here somewhere…I don't want them meeting you without me. If I fall asleep, just wake me up. Okay?"

"Mhmm…" I turned my hand over and twined her fingers with mine, squeezing her hand. She smiled again and squeezed back. I heard her breathing get slower and slower, I felt her grip slacken. Soon, she was fast asleep on me again. I didn't mind at all. I was just glad for one thing.

…Eriol had a date tonight…

Diary shit—

I_ have been sworn to eat stuff. I'm falling in love with a control freak! Not really…he really is sweet…_

_Is he the one who will make me believe in love again?_

_Or am I just fooling myself?_

~Saku…

* * *

**Don't you just love how Eriol's outside of the loop?  
Should I start putting a little dictionary down here for the words not a lot of people understand? Like spiel...and dog. =P**

I truly do love you. So press that magical review button!


	8. people acting weird meilin's married!

* * *

**Lol. Longest chapter yet! Fear the power of having a hell of a lot of fricken time!!!  
I would have it done sooner, but the fricken computer kept messing up =( but it's done now...BE HAPPEH!!! HAPPY I TELL YOU HAPPY!!!**

**Disclaimerrrr: I don't fucking own. Stupid law enforcing sky.**

* * *

I was watching some movie when I felt something wet seep through my shirt; I turned to see Sakura, tears streaming down her still sleeping face. I shook her a little, trying to wake her up. "Sakura, wake up." She still didn't and I detected some shaking going on with her. I turned over and held myself above her, waiting for the absence of my body underneath her for her to wake up. About five minutes later I felt her stirring, blinking and staring up at me.

"Wha—?" her eyes widened and she hastily wiped away the tears on her face with her hands. "I-I'm sorry I-I s-started crying o-on you d-didn't I-I?" I nodded, but she didn't feel placated apparently, she just started crying again. "I-I'm s-sorry!!!" I silenced her with a kiss, a simple thing, but she blew it out to a bigger proportion. She kissed me back and snaked her arms around my neck. I let her kiss me, of course I kissed her back, but I pulled away. I hadn't minded at all, but I had heard the door open and close.

"Hey…" Eriol and Rika just walked in through the door to the living room and backed out. "Your mom and cousin are coming in!!!" Eriol called before running up the stairs with his girlfriend. I sighed and forced myself off of Sakura, when I really felt like curling up with her. I took her hand in mine and turned off the television, before walking with her to the kitchen.

"Come on, you've got to eat something, a sandwich at least." She nodded, but pulled me back and came up to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and pressing her head against my chest. I was starting to think being close to me was her favorite thing to do now. "Come on, before my mom—"

"Wait." I stopped pushing her away and I let her press herself against me again. "I want to know… are we…am I…?"

"Yes." I knew what she was asking. She trusted me; I could at least make her happy with this little piece of information, that she was my girlfriend. This way she could be close to me all that she wanted. "But…you have to stay away from me, because if my mom sees you near me before the Meilin issue is over and done with." She looked kind of let down and I couldn't help it but tell her otherwise. I knew that I was spoiling her, but I didn't care, she needed some spoiling anyway. "I'll talk to her about it later, all right?"

"Okay…um…I want you to know that…you made me sleep a lot more calmly…can I…um…sleep with you tonight?" she said the last part really fast and I smiled down at her. "I mean…not like do anything…just…"

"I know. Don't worry. I'll be glad to be your pillow. I heard her pretty laugh and she hugged me again. I heard the door open and close and I heard my mother calling me into the kitchen. "Well I guess that you get to meet my mother now." She let me go and stayed about a foot away from me, acting indifferent to me. I led her into the kitchen where my mom was putting things away. Sakura wanted to go to me and hold my hand or something, I saw her nervous movements, but she refrained herself from doing so.

"Hello Syaoran," my mother turned to see me and I readied myself to see what she thought of Sakura. "Who is that, I've never seen her before. Is she a new friend?" I looked back at Sakura and then I looked to my mother again. I nodded to her. "Is she hungry? I was just about to make some ham sandwiches." I nodded again and my mother smiled, turning back to the refrigerator. Sakura was breathing a little harder so I led her to the island and placed my arm across the back of her waist. She hinted at a smile and I ran my hand a little up and down her back. She visibly relaxed and her breathing went back to normal with the touch I provided.

"Mom…I have to tell you that…Sakura is my girlfriend." I said the last part with confidence, I was certain I was going to say this, I didn't care what she thought, it was time I started going my own way. "I mean, Meilin doesn't even know me, her family only wants her to marry me to get at our money. I know, I do talk to her sometimes you know. I don't care what you say. If you don't like my decision, I'll leave." Sakura looked at me with fear in her eyes and shook her head, she wouldn't let that happen. I tugged her closer to me and I looked at my mom who was looking at me, her mouth agape.

"Well…uh…Syaoran…I've been planning to tell you something for a while now. It seems that Meilin got married last summer and never told us. Your engagement to her was broken quite a long time ago. You can marry whoever you want for this reason." Her mouth turned up into a thin smile and I smiled nicely back. "It is very nice to meet you Sakura."

"Her last name is Kinomoto. Sakura Kinomoto." I pulled her in front of me and wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against my chest. "She likes being close to people she trusts, she's going to live with us, I mean…her family isn't being very nice to her…" my mother looked at Sakura carefully, who pressed against my back.

"H-hello…" Sakura smiled nervously at my mother and I pressed her closer to me, she calmed down a bit more. "I'm Sakura Kinomoto, Syaoran's…yeah." My mom smiled again, a kind smile that Sakura calmed down a little at. My mom went back to making those sandwiches and I couldn't believe that Meilin wasn't my fiancé anymore, it made me feel so elated and I could hardly contain it. Right in front of my prim and proper mother I picked Sakura and spun her around. She giggled and held onto my arms while my mom watched with a smile still on her face.

"Mom, where's Chang?" Chang was my cousin and I wanted Sakura to meet him.

"Upstairs in the game room, Sakura should meet him. I'll take you your ham sandwiches when they are done." Something was wrong with my mom…she was weirdly acting nice to the person that she would normally hate. What the hell is going on, after I met Sakura, everything was turning upside down and inside out.

"That's exactly what I was thinking." I grasped Sakura's hand and led her up the stairs, cautiously watching my mom as we got upstairs. "Chang's an okay guy, he'll like you. Oh, by the way, my mom usually isn't like that. She would have been yelling her head off at me, but today…she wasn't. I have no idea what the hell is going on, I just don't know."

"Alright…I'd rather not meet the other side of your mother," I heard her say. I led her to the game room where Chang was playing some pinball on the computer.

"Hey Chang, do you want to meet my girlfriend?" Chang immediately turned around and came over to me, curiously looking around to see Sakura, who was hiding behind me. "This is Sakura Kinomoto." Sakura gave him a shy smile and came out from behind me. He smiled at her and she blushed.

"I like her," he came up close to her so that she was right against his chest and held out his hand. She leaned back against me a little and took his hand, shaking it. "I'm Li Chang, Syaoran's cousin. It is a great pleasure to meet you," he rose the hand he was holding to his lips and kissed it. Chang was a player and he would pretty much hit on any girl, as long as she wasn't a girl that was ugly. Now Sakura…everyone was lusting after her, so it was just common sense that Chang would hit on her too. Sakura stepped back away from him and more towards me. I wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Hi Chang…" Sakura said quietly, nervously taking her hand back from him. Chang let go of her hand and he looked kind of let down. Chang looked like a gay guy, I mean, he had the muscular physique and pretty gay face that all of the girls' hearts melt at when they see it. Chang wasn't gay though, and the girls were happy about that.

"I'll see you later Chang, I have to go make sure Sakura's all settled in Meilin's room. Oh yea, did you know that she got married over the summer?" Chang laughed and nodded, showing me a tattoo on his shoulder.

"Yeah, she kind of married me." I slowly backed away from Chang and he grinned, turning back to the computer and his game. Sakura turned and I led her out, back to our room, my mind reeling from all of the things, or thing, that I just learned from Chang. Sakura moved from my arm and grabbed my hand instead.

"That was…weird. Why was he hitting on me if he's married?"

"Don't ask me, he'll hit on anyone who has breasts and legs. I don't really like my cousin. Reason one: he's a man-whore. Reason two: he just hit on you." I heard her laugh and I stopped in the middle of the hallway, giving her a kiss. She hadn't really expected that, she stiffened but she managed to kiss me back anyway.

"Why do you like my laugh?" she looked to me curiously.

"You sound happy when you laugh."

"I am happy…now…because I have you…" I smiled again and kissed her once more. She was a bit more pliable now, she immediately kissed me back.

"Thanks for saying that," I smiled and again, I started leading her down the hall towards her bedroom. "I have to get your stuff into my room now."

"Lovely!" she said sarcastically.

My beautiful Diary…ha-ha—

_Syaoran kissed me…and he understands that I like to be close to him. I love being close to him because he makes me so calm and he kills the nervousness. He makes me feel cared for and loved…it's the most amazing feeling I've ever had! Well…since Danny…=(_

~Sakura…

* * *

**Ba bump da bumpppp**

**DONE! fer now. =P  
Check out my Zoey/Stark for House of Night!!! Erik Night is a fucking Douche baggg he doesn't belong with Zoeyyyy I'll be writing more in response to popular demand XP**

**Yeah yea...click the awesome magical review button. Es a lovely place.**

Oh yea. Go to Guaranteenia...It's beautiful...go there.


	9. thinkinggg

* * *

**Who else thinks Jonas Brothers are whiny guys who can't play guitar or any other instrument for that matter?  
okayyy  
Disclaimer: I don't own thiiisss**

* * *

Sakura and I were in my room after moving her stuff from her room to my room. I watched her as she finished the ham and cheese sandwich that my mom made. I was almost finished with mine, but Sakura was just picking at hers, not sure what to eat I guess. I had a bowl of raspberries and strawberries that I got when I went downstairs to get the sandwiches, they went untouched by Sakura. "What's wrong, why aren't you eating?"

"I'm still mostly tired. It's a lot to take in today…meeting your mom and your cousin and moving and then actually letting you in and…" I heard her stutter a little and I wrapped her up in my arms. She slid her arms around my neck and hugged me back. I stroked her back and I managed to calm her down from her almost breakdown point without any tears on her part.

"Don't worry; you won't have to face anything alone. Not anymore." Sakura smiled, and I only noted this because she was so close to me. Sakura pulled back a little and smiled at me. I smiled back at her and forced her back down on the bed. "If you're tired, you should probably sleep." She stared up at me and sat up before I could sit her back down.

"I have to help you clean up though," I knew she wanted to stay with me, and so little time had elapsed since I had met her. I gently took her shoulders and pushed her back down. "No," she pushed back at me and tried to sit up again. I pushed her back down and she squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head again, she was beginning to cry. "Please…don't…don't hurt me…" I pulled away, ashamed. I should have known better. Sakura turned over and curled up in a ball.

"Sakura, are you alright? I'm sorry, I should have thought about doing that before I actually did that." She slowly uncurled and crawled into my lap. I was really confused with her behavior, but I stroked her back anyway. "I didn't mean to scare you because that's the opposite of what I wanted. You don't have to help me clean up, you can just sleep okay? I'll be here when you wake up." I rubbed her back in slow circles, but she pulled back and looked up at me.

"I'm going to help you clean up, no matter what. And you didn't know anything, I didn't even know that would cause for anything bad…" I nodded and she got up, taking the plates and the bowl full of fruit that she didn't even touch. I got up as well and slid my arms around her waist. She leaned back against me for a moment, and then continued on towards the door. I led her to the kitchen, she probably would have gotten lost if I hadn't led her. She put the plates in the dishwasher and turned to me. "Plastic wrap?" I forgot that she knew where nothing was.

"It's in the cabinet over there," I pointed it out to her and she got the plastic wrap, covering up the fruit. She placed it in the fridge and turned to face me. "Time for you to sleep, don't forget that you have school tomorrow, so be sure to be awake for that." I pushed her slightly to go back up to our room, so I could possibly take a shower and she could possibly sleep.

"You'll be there when I wake up…right?" I nodded while I pushed her lightly down on my bed and covered her up with the blanket. "Thanks," she snuggled into the bed and I gently stroked her back. I changed between stroking her back and rubbing her back, before I knew it, her breathing was slowing and she was sleeping again. I swept the hair from her face and watched her sleep for a few minutes before shifting and moving to the bathroom for a shower.

I walked out of the shower, clothed and my hair still a bit wet. I walked to the bed and watched as Sakura whimpered and clutched some bed clothes in her fist. I sat next to her and Sakura immediately shifted closer to me, a heat source I guess. I checked the clock and decided it would be okay to lay with her.

I slid into bed beside her and she got closer to me, subconsciously cuddling with me. I slid my arms around her waist and held her to me, she pressed closer to me and I kissed her forehead. She was relaxing, and she blinked her eyes open. "Go back to sleep Sakura."

"I have to tell you something," she told me softly. Her voice was thick with sleep and I wished I could wake her up more. "My brother won't be happy with you because you took me away from him and my father will try and get me back as hard as he can. You have to stay near me because they'll come to school and try and get me. Apart from that…I don't want to stay away from you. You're my escape, you make the chaos peace. I need peace and stability in my life…"

"I know. I'll be your rock; I'll be the person you can run to when you need someone. I'll keep you close, don't worry. I told you I don't break my promises, so I won't break this one." I heard her sigh and I turned so she laid on me. "I'll be here when you wake up; I'll be here for you until the end of this night you're stuck in." She nodded and soon was asleep.

Dear fucking diary…actually I'm happy…=P—

_I moved like twice in the same day. From my dad's house to Syaoran-kun's house…and then he made me move into his room. He's tiring me out. He made me sleep on him and now I'm more rested than usual…maybe he's good for me?_

~Saku..

* * *

**I have contradicting emotions =]  
REVIEWWWW**


	10. lotsa stuff goin down

* * *

**Big shout-out to Twilight Kisses :] she's been there through the whole thing and this chapter is definitely for you. It's one of the best.  
Disclaimer: no. i don't own it. the fucking sky gave it to my freakin piano!**

* * *

I turned over and I heard a noise of displeasure. I opened my eyes and stared into Sakura's beautiful green orbs. I sat up and turned to look at the clock. It was around six thirty…we had about an hour before school. "Come on we have to get ready for school now." Sakura nodded and stretched, getting up. I watched her sleepily go into the bathroom and I got out of the bed myself. I went to the dresser and took out new clothes, then went back to the bed and waited for Sakura to get out.

When she got out, I couldn't help but walk to her and hug her. "I'm sorry, it was black and I wasn't awake…I grabbed your shirt by accident." She was in one of my oversized plain black shirts and some cute black jeans. I smiled down at her form and she backed away. "I'll go change."

"That isn't necessary. You're already changed, we'll just go downstairs and eat." She blushed and nodded, while I went to the closet and grabbed a random sweatshirt, not really caring whose it was. I threw it to her and noticed it was one of mine. Oops. "Put that on, it's going to be cold today." She nodded and put on the sweatshirt over my shirt. I offered her my hand and she took it. I led her to the kitchen and made her some breakfast. She looked at it and pushed it away.

"Come on, you've got to eat something. What if I eat it with you?" I tore the egg sandwich in half and looked at her with curiosity. She took the half and bit into it, chewing slowly. I watched her and ate my half, I watched her until she finished.

"Sorry, but thanks, it was really good." I nodded and smiled at her, getting up from my seat. I grabbed my keys and watched as she put her dish in the dishwasher. I gave her my hand and brought her to my car. The ride to school was silent, but I noticed that Sakura no longer looked tired. She looked at me from time to time and every time she did she smiled. I tried to suppress a smile, but every time she smiled, I was powerless to not smile.

Eriol was taking his own car today, apparently. He stayed the night at Rika's. I'm not sure why. He just did. I wasn't complaining. Sakura and I walked into homeroom, all of our classes were together, which worked for her want to be close to me. The bell rang and the teacher came in for Earth Science. The teacher looked over the class and looked straight at Sakura.

"Sakura Kinomoto, the office wants you." Sakura squeezed my hand, she knew something. She got up and nodded to the teacher. I looked after her worriedly and she looked back, smiling sadly at me. I watched her until she turned the corner and I saddened.

"Excuse me, Mister Quiteci, Sakura will not be coming back to class, she has an emergency orthodontist's appointment." I was confused, as far as I knew; Sakura didn't have any ortho done. I don't know all of her dental records though. I stared out the window and noticed that it was the sidewalk to the entrance of the school. I saw Sakura's pretty brown hair and then I saw someone taller, a male, stronger. He was pulling her along forcefully and she tried to tug away. The guy stopped and turned around, backhanding her.

"Mister Quiteci!" I pointed to the window and the teacher rushed over to it, opening it, we could hear the man's yelling as he shouted at the girl on the ground, holding her cheek, letting tears seep over her face. The man was kicking her over and over and I could tell Sakura was whimpering and crying.

"You little bitch! You can't run away from me, you can't do anything! You are a worthless piece of shit, you don't belong anywhere! No one wants you, they only want to use you and throw you around! You will never be worth for anything else!" I saw him kick her and she rolled a little away. He followed her and kept kicking her over and over. I finally decided to do something. I got up and ran out the door to go help her.

When I got out there, he was still kicking her and calling her names. She was whimpering my name over and over, I was glad I was out there, helping her. "Stop hurting her!" the man turned to look at me. His eyes harden and he gave her one last kick. "Stop hurting her or you're going to have to deal with me." I had stopped by my locker and grabbed my sword that I practiced with. I wouldn't hurt him, but I knew that it would scare him one way or another. And if that doesn't work, it's a good thing that I know martial arts.

"You think I'm scared of you, little runt?" the man grinned and took a step forward. Sakura was still curled up, holding herself into a ball. I walked calmly towards him and stood before him, threatening him. "I'll show you otherwise," he threw a punch and I easily caught it. I twisted his hand into my grip and kicked him in the stomach. He fell to the ground and I looked down at him.

"You might want to try and fight me before calling me names. It's wrong for you to hurt a poor girl and never apologize or anything. That's wrong, that's horrible for anyone to do. No one, especially a gentle girl, deserves that." The man had gotten up by now, and I was spitting venom at him. He looked down at me with hate in his eyes.

"If you want a worthless wench like that, you can have her. She killed her mother, if you didn't know." The man gave her one last kick and I pushed him back. "You have never been my daughter, so fuck off." I glared at him, that's what poor Sakura should be saying to her father.

"Whatever, get out of here." I watched her father walking away and I bent down and picked Sakura up. She whimpered and hid her face in my chest. I walked to my car and opened the door and put her in carefully, cautious not to move her so much. It seemed that moving her would give her a stab of pain.

"Syaoran…no get back here…Syaoran…" I got into the other side and grabbed her hand. She looked over at me and gave me a feeble smile. "He'll…be back. He's going…to follow…us and try…and drag me…back." I squeezed her hand and looked into her pretty eyes.

"If he tries to drag you back, he'll have to get through me, all right?" she gave me a feeble smile again and tried to squeeze my hand back. I turned on the car and started driving, while Sakura kept a gentle hold on my hand. I raised it to my lips and kissed the back of her hand. I kept driving until we reached my house and I carried her in and up the stairs to my room.

"You need to take off your shirt and your pants so that I can see what he did to you. I promise it's only on that basis." I left her and went to the bathroom, getting the first aid kit. I brought it back and opened it while I looked over her back. Scars and day old cuts covered her back. I ran my hand over her back and she shuddered. I rubbed some ointment into her wounds and then took some gauze and wrapped up her upper back. She took the ointment from me and spread it over her stomach for me, while I checked out her lower back. What looked like whip marks lined her back. I wrapped up her stomach and lower back, and then left to put the first aid kit away.

When I came back she was already dressed in a different one of my shirts and some of her own sweatpants. "Your other shirt is soaked in blood and it's really comfortable to be in your clothes," she said quietly, almost feebly. I smiled and nodded, while she curled up in the bed. She cringed and I slid in next to her, behind her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against my chest.

A knock at the door made me get up and leave a sleeping Sakura. I figured that she was out of danger now and I walked down to see who was at the door. I opened up the door and saw Sakura's father. "Listen kid," he said right off the bat, "I want my daughter back. You can't take me from her." I glared at him and decided to talk back.

"You know what? You're making a big mistake. If you want to take it to court, go ahead. I will win. From the bruises and cuts on her body and my, as well as my whole Earth Science class, will vouch that she doesn't belong with you. She's with me now and I'm not letting her go."

"This isn't over kid. And don't count on going to court, the girl isn't worth that at all." He glared at me once more and turned away, walking away. I walked back up the stairs and to my room. I slid back into the bed and slid my arms around Sakura's waist again. I rested my head on her shoulder while a million thoughts raced through my mind.

Diaryyyyy—

_Syaoran is treating me like I'm the most precious thing in the world to him. It's amazing that he's treating me like that, no one ever has. Not even Danny…he was always more of a best friend than a boyfriend. Sure he'd hold me or cuddle with me…he was cautious. Yet, he was more of a brother as I look back at it. Now that I think about Syaoran…I come to figure out that he makes me warm inside, calm rather than chaotic. It's so easy to be myself around him, to smile at him, to laugh at him. It's so easy just to tell him things. He fought off my father and…it made me feel like I could trust him more than ever. He'll hold me, he'll kiss me, and he won't go any farther. That's what I like about him. He's always cautious around me, but he isn't so cautious. I'm experiencing new things and I think that it's a little weird to always feel calm all the time._

_I'm no long frightened, no longer afraid of being hurt. Syaoran's my protector, someone I can rely on. Tomoyo…I could rely on her…but I can't rely on her anymore…after all…she's dead…Syaoran is here, he's not going anywhere. He fought my father…he beat him without a second thought, without trying. He's not going to have to go anywhere anytime soon._

~Saku…

_**There will always be someone there to help you through the storm now, teach you to dance in the rain. There will always be a way to find a light in that darkness, may it be a flash of lightening in the rainstorm, or the glimmer of light in the endless darkness. You'll never be alone again. We'll get through this together, until the end; there will not be a time when you're alone for a long time. The chaos will be no more and the sadness and pain will be destroyed. There's nothing you can't get throughout with someone by your side.**_

I smiled as I closed Sakura's diary and put it on the bedside table with my pen I was using. I settled next to her again and tugged her close to me. I whispered to her, "I'm making you believe in love again, ne?" I got no answer but some subconscious cuddling nearer to me.

Hell was going to have to be faced sooner or later.

* * *

**This is not the last chapter, so don't worry =]]  
Reviewwww =]]  
and don't tell me to update soon! I will!!! ^^**


	11. nightmares

* * *

**I didn't want to type or write today...but i did anyway...I gotta go meet my friend...so...yeah...  
Es for Hazel Eyes 02 this time. =]  
Disclaimer: My GUINEA PIGS own more of the anime than i do.**

* * *

I woke up and carefully shifted Sakura, so I didn't wake her. She yawned, but didn't wake, and I got up and headed to the bathroom. As the water streamed down my body, I went over everything I could think of. Sakura's father was a fucking masochist. I don't even know what that means, but he was evil in general. I got her away from him, but how long was that going to last for? How long until she could stop being near me, so close to me, and more independent? A million questions ran through my mind, worrying about the girl who was quickly stealing my heart. Wait. Where the hell did that come from? She was stealing my heart? I know that I was getting her to trust me; I was getting her to really like me, but…weird. I wanted to deny it, I wanted to deny it a lot, but I knew that I couldn't. While I was getting her to fall in love with me, I was falling in love with her in turn.

"Syaoran-kun?" I heard Sakura's thin voice as she walked in through the door, it was thick with sleep, and I knew she wasn't really awake. "I woke up and I heard the shower running…I'm sorry…it was a nightmare I woke up from."

"Oh, it's okay Sakura, go back to bed, and rest your body. I'll be out in a few minutes. I promise." I heard the door close and Sakura was gone. I finished my shower and changed, getting back to Sakura. I sat down on the bed and took her hand. She was still awake and turned to look at me, squeezing my hand. "Okay, what happened honey?" she looked over at me and closed her eyes slightly.

"Had a nightmare about my father and my brother beating the crap out of me again and again until I eventually died. It was scary and it was like I couldn't breathe or see. And then there was something beside me and I looked and it was you. I tried to grab your arm or your hand but I fell and I just kept falling, meanwhile my father's voice just kept repeating that you hate me, you would only use me, and no one wanted me. That's when I woke up and noticed that you weren't with me and that the shower was running. I tried to go back to sleep, but I was afraid that I was going to have more nightmares without you here."

"Ah," I pulled her up and wrapped her in my arms, she hugged me back. "I wanted to ask you something though. Why does your father say that you killed your mother? I mean, that seems highly unlikely." All of a sudden, she started crying, tears seeping through my shirt, clutching me to her. I didn't mind at all, this was something that she really didn't want to talk about. I knew she wanted to tell me anyway. I knew she was going to tell me anyway.

"When I was still a fetus, doctors injected me with something weird, a mineral enriched formula that would help my mother throughout the pregnancy. It taxed her though; the minerals took too much from her while it gave me more. That's how I killed her. By the time for me to come into the world, my mother was too weak. She died from giving birth to me."

"That couldn't be your fault at all you know, you couldn't help it. You were just a baby, what the hell could you have done to stop it? Don't say by never being born." I knew she was going to have said that, I knew she blamed herself as well. Her father brainwashed her into thinking that it was her fault all along, when it was really his. His fault he let the doctors do that, his fault he got his wife pregnant in the first place. He shouldn't blame his daughter for what he did on purpose. "You make a lot of people feel very special in your life, and you make a lot of good things happen. I love what you can do; now only you have to believe that you're worth something."

"I ever believed that I was worth something. I always believed that I couldn't do a thing. That I would never account to anything. So…I don't think I could ever believe that I was worth something. Or anything really." I kissed the girl's forehead and she relaxed against me, snuggling herself, tucking herself into my body.

"Well, I think you account to something, you're everything in my eyes. You rely on me; you make me think that I am worth something, because my family makes me believe that I am not. You've become my charge, the person that I need to protect with my life. You're important to me, and even after only a few days of knowing you, I'm falling for you, like you've fallen for me."

"You mean tripped."

"What?"

"You tripped me and you caught me. You made me fall for you because you never went away. I don't exactly love you, but I do trust you, so…don't hurt me…"

"I won't hurt you, I promised you that. So don't worry, nothing will hurt you with me around. The girl in my arms smiled up at me.

"Where did you learn to be so sweet?"

"I didn't learn, I just tend to be that way. I don't want to hurt anyone, especially someone who was hurt as much as you were. That's just cruel and no one, just no one, deserves that. I can't save everyone, but I can save you. You are enough for me, because you've really just become everything to me. No one's meant so much to me, especially not Meilin."

"Thank you, Syaoran-kun."

Before I knew it, she was asleep again. Damn, this girl slept a lot. She disserved it anyway.

Diary—

_I'm just so happy I've got nothing to say. I read what Syaoran-kun left. It's so weird I actually mean that much to someone._

~Saku

* * *

**I think I spelt Diserved wrong...I dunno.  
Ummm I wrote this while a cat was sleeping on me. A kitten...so it might not be great.  
ER...REVIEW =D**

**lol. I MUST GO MEET MY ASIAN FRIENDS!!! =]]**


	12. Death and sex lol

* * *

**hazel eyes 02...I bet Tomoyo is up there video taping it all...oh yeah XD...and yes...we must plan their wedding and future children!!!  
Disclaimer: Totally not mine...*sets piano on fire* :]**

* * *

Since I wasn't tired, I was watching the T.V. and listening to Sakura's breathing. She cuddled closer; I was guessing that she was cold. I pulled the blanket from her waist to her shoulders, pulling her closer by wrapping my arm around her shoulders. Someone knocked on the door and I told them that they could come in. I turned to see Eriol walk in, Rika behind him.

"What do you want?" I carefully slid my arm from around Sakura and turned to Eriol, who smiled at me. "And what's the creepy smile for?" Rika gave out a timid smile and sat next to Sakura on the bed. She stroked her hair and Sakura stirred, blinking her eyes open.

"Huh?" she sat up and looked over at Rika. "What's going on? Who are you all?" I grabbed her hand and squeezed her hand, making her calm down. Rika moved back to Eriol and I tugged Sakura near me.

"I don't even know what's going on…" I told her, while she molded herself against me, hiding. "I would like Eriol to tell me what the hell is going on anyway." I pulled her into my lap, into plain view. She didn't like that much, so she pressed herself up against me, trying to hide, but not really succeeding.

"I'm here because of your mother. You know how weird and nice she's been lately?" I nodded, cautiously answering his question. "Well, Rika and I just got back from the hospital, where your mother is. She's dying of a cancer that doesn't have a cure." I jumped, Sakura made a small noise of annoyance, already half asleep. I jumbled her and she woke up again.

"You mean…my mom is…dying?" my voice was incredulous; Sakura looked up at me with worry in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around my neck, really worried about my change. "S-she can't b-be d-dying!" she was so strong, she wouldn't have let this get her down, but then again…Sakura tugged me closer while tears slipped down my face into her shoulder. I buried my face into her shoulder, holding her against me, trying to deny everything.

"She isn't dying anymore Syaoran…she's already dead." I looked up at him; I didn't know what to say. How could she have never told me? How could she have kept it a secret for so long? Sakura let me cry into her body, she wanted to make my crying stop. She knew I was in pain, that I was hurt that my mom never told me, that I only found out when she finally died.

"Guys, can you leave me and Syaoran-kun alone?" I heard Sakura's small voice and the two's consent. As I heard the door close, I let out a quiet wail and pressed my face against her neck and let my tears fall against her. She kept her arms wrapped around my neck, kept holding herself to me. "Hush…" she patted my back, my neck. I just let the tears keep coming.

"She was my mom Sakura, how could she not tell me at all? How could she keep this a secret from her only son? I mean…that's wrong…she's been with me, living with me, for a year and a half, how could she not tell me?" I just kept rambling in her ear, I couldn't bring myself to do anything else but ramble and cry.

"Maybe she came to live with you to spend the last of her life with you." I heard the words and I pulled back to look at her. She took my face between her hands and wiped away my tears with gentle fingers. "She wanted to spend her last days and moments with you, she wanted you to be happy. That's why she didn't give you crap about choosing me."

"That makes sense…" I kissed her while she still held my face in her hands. She slid her arms around my neck and kissed me back while I wrapped my arms around her waist. She tugged lightly on my hair to get me to pull away and I did, looking her in her eyes. "It makes sense that she wanted to make me happy, so she didn't give me hell about things that she usually would…" she nodded and kissed me again, pulling away before I could get a hold on it.

"Common sense honey," I heard her say in my ear. She got up and fell to her knees. "I guess I haven't gotten over my last beating," she slowly stood up on shaky legs and gave a little laugh. I went to her and helped her stand, let her lean heavily against me. "Thanks," she gave a little smile and I tried to smile back…but I couldn't. "Don't worry, I do understand." I nodded.

"Where do you want to go?" she shook her head and stood away from me, taking a few steps, moving a little at a time. All too soon, she was walking with confidence again, moving without shaking. Which was really good. She walked to the dresser and got some of her clothes. "Wait a second," I got up and got her a sweatshirt from my closet. I threw it to her and she caught it, moving to the bathroom after she caught it. I sat back on the bed and waited for her to come out.

She walked out only two minutes later with the first aid kit and I motioned her to come here. She sat in front of me with her back to me, the bandages removed as she took off her shirt. "That looks a lot better," I told her. I was still really sad, but I was going to have to deal with it later, and I knew that Sakura would help me through this crap. She nodded and let me fix her up.

"Thanks again," she said quietly. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her neck. I was trying to drown myself in her, drowning out my sadness in her. She pulled away and pulled her shirt again. I let her do that, but then I wrapped my arms around her waist again. She didn't pull away this time, leaned against my chest. I pulled her into my lap and kissed her neck again. She was quiet, I didn't know if she liked it or not. I heard a small noise from the back of her throat, and realized that she was enjoying it. I tugged her harder against me and trapped her.

"You taste good…" I was getting turned on and I knew she could feel it. She gently pushed me away, keeping me at arms length. She wasn't being forceful or angry; she understood what was going on with me.

"You're in shock Syaoran, go take a cold shower and then talk to me about it. You don't need to get physical to forget your pain," I knew she was right, and I knew I would have to calm down. I let her go and she smiled sweetly at me before patting me on the shoulder.

"Thanks Sakura," I was calmed a little, but I went to take a shower anyway. Mostly to placate her…I would talk to her later though. She was right (again) I did need to talk about it.

Inanimate object—

_Syaoran tried…to immerse himself in me, and that's not healthy. I know his mom died, but he needs to talk about it…not physically solve it…I made him take a shower. I can't let him do that to himself…or me. I'll let him cry on me or kiss me…just not have sex with me…yeah…_

~Saku

* * *

**O.e poor Syaoran!!  
No sex for you kiddies!!! XD  
I'm on page 119 of my book I'm writing. And there's this girl with her boyfriend in her room, just laying there on the bed. Her room-mate walks in, and while she's walking to her side of the room (it's seperated with a wall) and goes, "No sex now kiddies," it was a funny part XD  
****  
And whoever told me how to spell the word 'deserved' thanks. I have a new boyfriend because of you!! =D**

**REVIEW!!!**


	13. funeral

* * *

**I wrote this right before i went to an exam, so it's about 30 words short of 1,000 my usual goal....soo....yea...I'll write more tomorrow =]  
Ummm**

**Disclaimer...: the piano's dead!!! mua haha~!!!! but...in its will it gave it to the wrought iron bed v.v**

* * *

Today was the funeral day. I stood beside Sakura, her arm around my waist, giving me comfort. I rested my arm around her shoulders and she leaned against me. I watched without listening as the priest began his sermon, my ears and eyes were blinded by pain. I only felt Sakura's heat beside me; I only could see my mother's casket behind the priest. I felt my heart wrench as the priest ended his talk and the casket was lowered into the ground. I felt tears drip down from my eyes and run over my face into my shirt, and suddenly Sakura was hugging me, burying her face in my neck, trying to make me calm down.

"It's okay to cry," she whispered softly, looking up at me. She wiped away the tears and hugged me again. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her back, holding on tightly to her, as if I let go I would lose everything else. She let me, she let me crush her to me, she let me just hold her. Eriol and Rika were standing beside us, both of them were crying. I was amazed that Sakura herself wasn't crying, she was so strong in a way that I wish I could be.

"Why aren't you crying?" I asked her in a spur of the moment question. Sakura watched me as I asked her this, she saw the spark of curiosity in my eyes, and saw the way I only whispered it to her. I wanted to know, it was confusing me how she could keep her eyes dry in this sad time of the day.

"I've seen so many people die in my life, I've figured out that death is a part of life and you can't stop it. I'm happy for your mother. When she died, that was the first day of supposed happiness. She'll be watching over you, like all of my friends and my mother are watching over me. I know that I won't come to any harm with them, because when they were alive, they didn't let me get hurt."

"That's a nice thing to remember…" I trailed off, staring at her sober and sad face. I saw a little smile twitch at her lips and I smiled back at her. She frowned and traced my smile. I knew it looked heartbroken, after all, my mom was dead, the woman that gave me life. It was okay to feel like this, as Sakura told me. She had told me to cry it out and hold onto something that really meant a lot to me. So I held on to her, because she gave me comfort in the rough time since she died.

"It's the only thing that got me through their deaths. I always thought that if one more person that I really loved died then I would kill myself, end my life. It would have stopped my pain, let me rest in peace. I knew that I could never rest in peace through, no matter what. I don't know why, but I kept holding on, and now I'm glad that I did. I met you, and you're keeping me safe."

"Well…keep holding on for me, and I will keep you safe, no matter what. You will never have to worry with me around; I will always protect you no matter what you do. Even if you break my heart I will still be around, I will still protect you, even if it hurts me." She nodded and kissed me lightly on the cheek, pulling away from me and returning to my side. "I can't ever stop loving you, no matter what."

"You've only known me for a few days, and already you say you love me. I won't let you down Syaoran, I promise." I smiled at her words and decided I wouldn't mind her keeping that promise. "I can't say that I love you, but I can say that there is almost no one that can compare to you." I smiled and nodded to her, grabbing her hand in mine. I watched as everyone left the burial site, leaving their last goodbyes. "Come on, let's go to the reception," Sakura told me quietly, pulling and tugging on my hand. I nodded and let her pull me to the car.

At the reception, I was sitting in a couch with Sakura, while she was pressing herself to my side. I was grateful to her comfort and I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her onto my lap. She smiled at me and kissed my cheek while closed my eyes and laid my head back. All I wanted to do was go to my room and be alone with Sakura. Sakura was looking around; I heard her hair whipping around a little bit.

"What's wrong?" I opened up my eyes and stared at her while she kept looking around. She looked perplexed, didn't know what to think. I sat up and looked her in the eyes. "What's going on?"

"D-Danny's…he's here…" I followed her eyes and saw a seventeen looking guy with blonde hair and brown eyes. I watched the guy come towards us once he saw Sakura and he smiled brightly at her. He didn't even notice me or the fact that she was in my lap. "H-hi Danny…"

"Hey Sakura," he smiled again at her and Sakura got up, looking at me. I understood and let her go. Danny offered his hand but Sakura didn't take it. She stood near me, so that I could do something in case HE tried something. She cautiously kept him near me, so that I could hear him. I smiled brokenly but reassuringly at her and leaned back, intent on listening to her conversation.

"I-I thought you were dead…I saw you die…"

Diary…

_Danny's…back?_

~Saku

* * *

**Mua ha ha ha!!! more issues!!! and I'm not even 3/4 of the way done yet!!! I'm on page 132 of my story!! It's in a notebook :D**


	14. Danny is a liar

"What are you doing here Danny?" I heard Sakura's voice as she was talking to Danny, purposely staying close enough for me to hear her and him talking. I was thankful to her for providing me with this satisfaction of hearing her conversation. "I thought you were dead." Danny shook his head and opened his arms for a hug.

"Well, I'm not dead, and I want you back." I looked past Danny and saw Sakura's father and brother standing in front of the doorway to the living room where the funeral reception was. I felt a glare come over my face and I didn't hold back as I did glare anyway. I almost got up and went over to them; they had diabolical looks of anger and evil on their faces.

"No, you…you're supposed to be dead! I saw you get shot! I knew I wasn't there for the funeral, my father made me move before it happened. But I was there, how can you still be alive?" Sakura was having a hug nervous breakdown and I wished I was standing beside her…trying to comfort her.

"Well, I'm not dead! So come back to me! Come back to me now! I want you back, I love you Sakura!" I frowned…I never knew that Danny was so jealous and controlling of her. And neither did poor Sakura either. Anger was slowly spreading over her face and she did not look happy at all.

"I have someone here better than you! And you can't be Danny because Danny was slow and confident, uncontrolling and loving. You're nothing like him! You can't be, you just can't be!" I got up off of the couch and went to her side, wrapping my arm around her waist and drawing her close to me.

"Shush…I'm here," I held her close to me and rubbed her neck gently. She hiccupped and a tear fell from her eye. I caught it on my finger and wiped it off of her beautiful and radiant face. She smiled brokenly at me, much like I had done earlier. I stood beside her and held her, giving her comfort as she talked to a phantom from her past.

"T-this…this is h-him…" I heard her say as she placed her hand over mine and squeezed lightly. I squeezed her hand back and gave her a small, reassuring smile. Danny looked over us, no real emotion behind his eyes. "You aren't Danny; you're a jealous creation my father and my brother made up to go back to them. They promised that you could use me too I bet." I saw a flicker of annoyance cross his eyes.

"She's right. You know that she is. They promised you that you could use her as you liked if you did this for them. They promised that to you before, when you pretended to be her 'boyfriend.' You didn't really die. They staged a fake fight or killing or whatever and 'killed' you, just to get rid of the only 'good' thing in her life." I saw this flicker of the same annoyance, some anger, run through his eyes again. I knew that I was right.

"Y-you lied t-to m-me?" Sakura's voice quivered as she contemplated this. She carefully stepped out of my arms and walked right up to Danny. She punched him right in the nose. I couldn't help but smile when blood spurted from his nose. "You never guessed that Tomoyo would come into the picture did you? So you actually killed her?"

"Yes, they did Sakura. Come on, it's time to go," I grabbed Sakura's hand and she held tight, walking away with me. She threw a glare back at them and followed me up the stairs to my room. I pulled her into my room and pushed her down on the bed. She didn't mind, it wasn't violent or anything. At least…I wasn't aiming to make it seen as violence on her part.

"Thanks…" She smiled at me…brokenly again. I smiled sadly at her and pulled her into my arms. She went through a lot in her life, and this was a huge blow to her. Danny, who she thought was her best friend, turned out to be an evil conniving idiot in league with her father.

"No problem, you needed saving, huh." She nodded and pressed against me, into my arms. I adjusted her so that her head was against my chest, over my heart. She felt the beat and she started breathing to the beat. Soon, she was calm and relaxing.

"Yes…I needed saving…and an escape…and I got it, didn't I?" I smiled at her, not sadly this time. I was proud that I was her escape, and her escape I would stay. I felt her move her hand up and grasp my hand. I smiled and squeezed her hand, lightly rubbing my thumb over the skin on her hand. She smiled sweetly and I felt her red hot blush against my chest.

"You did. And…do you know…that you look so cute with a blush on your face?" She giggled and shook her head no. "Well…you do." She nodded at me, telling me that she knew that now. I fell back amongst my pillows and I felt my girl move close to me. She laid on her side and put her head on my shoulder. She moved her hand over my heart.

"I can still feel your heart beating through your chest," she told me softly, closing her eyes. "Your heat is overwhelming me, moving throughout my body and heating me to my core. You're making my insides go haywire. Not even Danny…when I believed that he loved me…could get this reaction out of me…" I nodded and stroked her hair gently.

"Shush honey…let's go to sleep now. We can deal with it in the morning. I promise you…we will…" she smiled and snuggled against me. Soon, her breathing was evening out and she fell asleep on top of me. I didn't mind at all…

Diary—

I don't know what's going on…Danny lied to me how he loved me…and now he's back. What am I going to do about my family?! Well…Syaoran told me that we were going to deal with it in the morning…I'm taking his advice.

~Saku


	15. More death! Time skip

* * *

**Ummm....only two more chapters...this one and the epilogue...give me some girl and boy names =)  
Disclaimer: no...don't own it...**

* * *

Months after I met Sakura…we were walking out of the school building. She had grown a lot since I met her and I loved how she did. She no longer clung to me, I could hold her hand and she'd be close enough. I didn't have to take her everywhere…she felt safe enough to go her own way now. I still slept with her in my bed…after all…that was a good thing, huh? I got over my mother's death with her help and she learned to feel safe even if I wasn't around.

"I'm going to go to the shop today, alright?" I nodded to her, transferring twenty dollars into her hand. She smiled and walked away from me, but not before giving me a kiss on the cheek. I smiled after her as she called back to me, "See you later babe!"

It was four hours after that time, and Sakura still wasn't home. I didn't know what to do…so I got into my car and drove to the store in record time. My eyes narrowed when I saw Sakura's father and brother standing beside a fallen Sakura, Danny picking her up. I got out of the car and approached them, anger rising inside of me. "Let her go!"

"What?" Danny whirled around as Sakura's brother and father were already glaring at me and Danny was standing there, anger in his eyes. I glared again and swung a punch at Danny, who crumpled underneath the force in my punch. Sakura's father and brother were looking really pissed off as they started coming towards me. Sakura moaned and opened her eyes slightly.

"S-Syaoran?" I gave her a brief smile, while her father lunged for me. I stepped out of his way and punched him in the gut, he fell in the road. Sakura's brother had a pipe in his hand, from who knows where and swung at me, missing me by mere inches. As he swung again, my sword was out of its sheath, protecting me. I smiled as he looked very surprised and swung at his shoulder. I didn't try to make the wound too deep, but I hit my mark and Sakura's brother's arm broke. I heard brakes squealing and I turned to see a car speeding towards us.

"No!" I looked at Sakura's brother, who was reaching for his father…who was right in the car's path. I ran towards them, but then I remembered Sakura and Danny, also in the car's way. I grimaced and ran back to them, grabbing and moving them out of the way, just as the car ran over the father and son. I kicked Danny away from Sakura and gathered her up in my arms.

"No…no…Touya…dad…" tears were streaming down her face and she winced in pain when I brought her close to my body. My shirt soaked up some of the tears and blood all over her face. I started and held her back away from my body and took a look at the poor girl.

She was spattered in blood; her stomach was covered in bruises and cuts. Tears were clearing streaks through the blood. "Is anything broken, twisted?" I asked franticly. Sakura shook her head no. "Do you feel like you just want to close your eyes forever, just sleep?" she shook her head no again. "Can you make it back home so I can fix you up?" she nodded once more and I ran to my car.

"I'll make it Syaoran, I'll hold on." I smiled at her and I started my car. I sped back to my house, no record time, but I was definitely speeding. I didn't care; I had to get her home and cleaned. I picked her back up from the passenger seat and I ran upstairs to my room. I guess I forgot all about her groceries, but apparently she hadn't. "What about my food Syaoran?" she asked as I slid her naked body into the water. Nothing sexual, I just had to help her, so I could figure out what they had done to her.

"That's not important right now honey," I told her, wiping and cleaning the blood off of her body. She winced as I rubbed the soap in, cleaning her wounds. She groaned in pain as I sponged it away. I got her out and dried her off, wrapping bandages around her bad wounds. "There, I'm not that scared anymore."

"Thanks," her small giggle quickly turned into a groan of agony. I pushed her gently into my bed and rested my hand on hers. "I don't want to sleep right now Syaoran. I want to know why they died. I want to know why they deserved this. They didn't deserve this, no…not even because they beat me and used me. No one deserves to die unless they killed someone themselves." I blinked away my surprise at her words. She still had enough innocence to forgive them.

"I had more important priorities than them. I have you. I don't even know them. I'd rather have them die than you any day. Now shush, you need to sleep sweetie. I'll be here when you wake." I wrapped my arm lightly around her shoulders and she didn't groan or move away.

"I love you," she whispered softly, her eyes flitting closed. I blinked in surprise. I never told her I loved her, I never figured that it was time yet. But…now…she told me this…I was amazed. I smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too," I whispered back to her.

Diary—

_I told him I loved him, I can't believe it!!! He didn't freak out though…I heard him whisper back that he loved me too. I loved how that worked out. I do love that man…and I hope that I never hurt him. I found my escape…and my escape isn't leaving any time soon._

~Saku

* * *

**Isn't it pretty? no, I know...not really...but she loves him!!! I'm thinking of a few more chapters actually...police inquiry...all that fun stuff...**


	16. Idk what to name this one

* * *

**La Dee Da...Next Chapter is the Epilogue...and that's it =(  
But of course I'll be writing more stories for my awesome reviewers...especially twilight kisses...cus she's my favorite =)  
Sorry Hazel Eyes...I picked favorites v.v**

**DISCLAIMER!!!!: NO I DO NOT FRICKEN OWN THE DAMN THE THING!!! THE TOILET DOES! (no pun intended)**

* * *

I was watching her sleep and my arm was wrapped around her shoulder. I was in perfect euphoria just sitting with her. Her family just died and she still loved them enough to forgive them for all that they had done to her and even told me that they didn't deserve to die, even for what they did. My heart was wrenched and pierced when she had told me that…I don't even know why.

"Syaoran," I heard a small voice from beside me and I looked down at her. She shifted and rose to a sitting position, wincing at the pain her movement induced. I offered her a smile and she gave me a beautiful and radiant smile back at me. She cuddled into my side and I heard a little whimper from her.

"What's wrong?" I was looking at her worriedly; it wasn't great that she was in so much pain. She shook her head and smiled again, but her smile quickly turned into one of pain. I gave her a stern look and asked her again, "What is wrong Sakura?"

"E-every m-move I m-make causes m-me pain," she ground out, trying to make me understand. I had, I understood what it was like to hurt every time I moved. After all, I once fell down a mountain. I was skiing. It was really embarrassing…people don't need to know about that. Okay, random tangent done with…back to me and Sakura.

"Then don't move, alright?" I know…kind of…stupid…but I didn't know what else to say…so I said what I could. She smiled up at me in the smile that I loved to see. I knew then that it was totally impossible for her to that…so I laid down next to her so that she could lay across me and not move at all. She smiled at me again and lay against my side, cuddling. She rested her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes, but I knew that she was still awake.

"Well, it's easier not to move like this then," she murmured to me, her voice was right against my ear. It was easy to hear her and I liked the sound of her voice. It was partially musical and pretty to listen to. I yawned a little, I hadn't slept at all while she had slept, and I had been watching her the whole time.

"Well…you're welcome then," I told her quietly, gently stroking her hair. She relaxed greatly underneath my touch and I smiled, it was so easy to calm the girl lately. Even easier than when we had started going out. Today, after her family's attack and death, I thought that she would be skittish again, but she wasn't, she was still relaxed and safe around me. I heard the doorbell ring and I felt Sakura's groan more than I had heard it. "I'm sorry, I got to get that…" she nodded, but got up when I started to walk to the door. "No, you stay here."

"No…I have a feeling that it's about the attack, you'll need a witness. You may not know it, but I saw everything." I wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her stay standing and helped her walk. I helped her limp down the stairs and to the front door, where I saw a blurry image of a man in a suit standing behind the door.

"Hello?" I asked, opening the door to see the man. I saw him in the black suit and he looked at Sakura, confused, probably with her injuries. He held up a badge and silently made a move to come in. I moved aside and let him in. I led him to the living room and sat on a couch. He sat on the couch opposite me and Sakura.

"You are Syaoran Li?" I confirmed his question with a simple yes. "And you are Sakura Kinomoto?" She answered the question in the same way that I had. "Do you know that your father and your brother are dead under a car in a grocery store's parking lot?" She nodded again and looked a little uncomfortable. "You were there, young woman, weren't you?"

"Yes I was. My father was beating me and my brother was holding me down. Danny is still alive and he was trying to rape me. They decided that they shouldn't do it right there in the open so he picked me up, intent on bringing me to my father's house. When he picked me up, Syaoran showed up and struck him down. My father charged him, I thought that he was going to be a goner…but Syaoran got him in the gut and he fell in the road. My brother went towards him, but he was kicked to the side. He saw the car coming, and while he went to go get my father, Syaoran came to get me. He got both me and Danny out of the way. My father and my brother d-died…because my brother couldn't get both of themselves out of the way." Sakura had started trembling, so I brought her closer to me, even as she let out a little whimper of pain from the simple little move.

"I had to save my girl," I stated simply. "I wasn't going to let her die at their hands, after she almost did on several occasions. I'm in love with her, I can't let that happen." I had explained my lines there and I decided that it was enough.

"I think this case is closed. Daniel told me the same basic story you did Sakura. He was paid to do that to you, by the way. Twenty thousand dollars, he was paid. He was going to out then and give back the money, because no girl deserved that kind of treatment. He's remorseful now, even if he lied earlier. He wanted to tell you that it was real for him as well, but he knows that it was time to move on. He went back to his city. I'm going to leave now; this whole thing is going to be covered up for you, alright?"

"Thank you," we said one after the other. He smiled and shook our hands. Once he left, I helped Sakura back up the stairs. Once she was seated on the bed, I took a box from the drawer in my bedside table.

"I want to ask you something, Sakura." She looked at me confusedly, not knowing whatever was going on. I sat next to her and opened the box, showing her a silver band with an amethyst gem set in the center. "I know that I've only known you a total of four months, but I want you to promise something. Promise me, that someday you'll marry me, and if I die, you'll marry someone. Promise me that I'll always have your heart, no matter what. And promise me, that you'll never keep secrets from me."

She looked up at me, tears sparkling in her eyes. "I promise," she said quietly. I gently took her hand and slipped the ring on. I bent and gave her a gentle kiss. I felt her smile and I felt her arms wind around my neck. She pulled me down on top of her and I smiled. She was going to give me innocence she was giving willingly, and that was the only innocence I really cared for.

My Diary—

_I'm engaged? Well…not yet…but I've got a promise ring =)_

~Saku

P.S.—_Syaoran don't write or read this thing anymore. It's annoying._

* * *

***Gasp!* It's almost ova!!! Last update tomorrow the 24th or the 25th =)  
Review my minions!!!  
Okay I take back the minions thing...still...REVIEW XD**


	17. Epilogue

* * *

**The last chapter...the epilogue!!! Omigod!! It's OVER!!! and I'm happeh cuz this guy i got a crush on is crushin back on meh~! Lol.. It's funny though...because he's being taken over by aliens!!! (turning into an emo child) so this is what goes down:  
Nicola: YOU CAN'T HANG OUT WITH HIM!!!"  
Me: Why not?  
Nicola: HE'S AN EMO CHILD!!! YOU CAN'T HANG OUT WITH THE EMO CHILD!!!**

**20 minutes later after we have flirted a LOT:**

**Nicola: Will you two go out with each other already?  
Me: You confound me.**

**So...I'm not allowed to hang out with him...but I have to date him....lol...it's funny and confusing.**

**LAST Disclaimer: NOOOO I DON'T OWN IT!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO OWNS IT ANYMORE!!!**

* * *

Today was the best day of my life. Sakura and I were finally getting married and I couldn't ask for more. Eriol and Rika had Amaya, turning five years old in a month. Rika was Sakura's maid of honor, they got to be great friends over the five years they new each other, prior to the wedding. Sakura is now twenty-one…and Amaya's our daughter. Eriol is my best man…well…hey…he is my best friend…so why not?

"Are you ready Syaoran?" Eriol came into the room and asked me the question. I nodded and gulped down a sudden wave of nausea. He smiled and patted my shoulder. "She loves you, you'll make it through. Now come on, you don't need to keep her waiting. She's waited long enough." I nodded and let him lead me out into the church where I would meet Sakura as she walked down the aisle.

I took my place beside the priest and waited for her. First came our daughter in pretty ivory, the flower girl. Then came Rika and I heard Eriol's little gasp. I smiled; his girl was so pretty in midnight blue. Eriol hadn't gotten to see her in the dress before because both Sakura and Rika kept their dresses under lock and key. I grew a little anxious when Sakura didn't come down for a few minutes.

And then I saw her, Danny was leading her. I was surprised, I didn't know that Danny would be leading her down the aisle; I didn't even know that Danny was going to be here. Sure Sakura had forgiven him, he had been paid to lie to her…but I didn't know that they would be so close that he would lead her down the aisle.

She smiled at me and reached for my hand, which I immediately met with my own and entwined my hand in hers. Danny let go of her and stood off to the side. Sakura stood close to me, just as she always had done, and I didn't mind, of course. The priest started the service and I didn't hear a word, the time didn't seem to be anything for me. I repeated what I was told to repeat, and all too soon, I was kissing Sakura. I didn't mind that it wasn't long…we had all our life together now.

We were at the reception and I was dancing with Sakura. I knew that she wished she could have shared a dance with her father…but…if her father was still alive, we wouldn't be getting married. I was really quite happy that he was dead, along with her horrible brother. Amaya tapped my leg and I looked down at her. She stared up at me with big eyes and I bent down to hear her tiny voice. "Can I have a dance? A lot of other people want to talk to Momma…"

I smiled, "Yes," I picked her up and twirled her around. She giggled and Sakura looked on with bright and happy eyes. I was happy that I could make her so happy with just making my daughter laugh and giggle. As I danced with my cute little daughter, Sakura walked off and talked to some of her friends that she made over the years of knowing me. Some were from her home town and others were from this town. Others were my family and some others were from China, when we visited my family. They all loved her and so they were invited to this. We had the wedding in China, a pretty grove.

"Hey…Syaoran…can I have a word with you?" I turned around and saw Danny standing behind me and Amaya. He looked hopeful, like he wanted to really tell me something important. I nodded and set Amaya down, who went to go play with Eriol and Rika's six year old boy, Zeebos. Weird name, I know. We all joked that they were drunk when they named the poor kid, but he didn't seem to mind. He liked his name and likes to make jokes about it as well. We all hoped that he would have that same sense of humor when he was a teenager and thought his parents hated him for giving him that name…which really wasn't true. They loved him a lot.

"What do you need?" I asked Danny when we made it to a corner where hardly any people could see us.

"Please take care of Sakura. I know it may not seem like it, but I did care a lot about her and I still do. I'm dying Syaoran, I'm dying of Hodgkins. It's a rare form of leukemia and it's spread into my bone marrow. It's too late to help me, and my blood type is so rare…there's no hope for a marrow donor. Please don't tell Sakura. I told her that I'm moving to America…so that she wouldn't have to worry, so that she thought I was safe. When she asked me to lead her down the aisle…I thought she knew…but she told me that she didn't have a father or a brother anymore…so she wanted me to replace them. I did…it was the least I could do…before I died. Tell her…when I'm gone…from this life. Then she won't be so angry at me…she'll just want you to comfort her." I nodded at him and he grinned. For the first time since I knew him…he looked worn and defeated.

"I promise you that I'll take care of her until the end. And I promise that I will tell her. Make sure someone sends me a letter though, so that I know." Danny nodded and clapped a hand on my shoulder. He grinned again, one full of reassuring sadness. "You will see her again…I know you will. Maybe not in this life…but in the next I know you will."

"I know I will. I'll see her again one day." Sakura walked towards us and smile happily, giving Danny a hug.

"Make sure you say goodbye before leaving for good, OK Danny?" he nodded and gave her another hug. Sakura looked at me and took my hand. "Come on…it's time to leave for our honeymoon…we have to say goodbye to everyone…especially Amaya…" I nodded and walked with her into our new life together…and with Amaya as well. Sakura didn't look back, and I know Danny was walking away without looking back as well. That part of her life was finally behind her…and our new life could begin.

My wonderfully inanimate object that's filled...and this is the last page~

_I'm married and I have a wonderful child and a great husband! Who could be happier? Although...I know that Danny's hiding something from me...but he was so happy today that I just couldn't bring myself to ask him. Here goes to you my wonderful diary! For coming with me until the end of the mess I was in. My life isn't a mess anymore! ^^_

~Sakura

* * *

**Done!  
Review my lovely readers!!!**


End file.
